Guest Blog Post: The Lexophile

Guest post written by Paul Bailey, member of Waverley Communicators

Paul Bailey

When you are cheesed off with the rain, become a lexophile ( a lover of words) and have some fun.

After all laughing & chuckling are good for your health.

There is a veritable cornucopia of websites to enjoy.

For instance the Uxbridge English Dictionary defines words merely for a laugh, e.g bipolar – “ a bear who is all grizzly one moment and all white the next”. http://www.alspcs.com/main.html

If you like puns go to http://joe-ks.com/puntastic.htm

 “Don’t join dangerous cults: practice safe sects.”

“Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.”

“Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.”

Even better is a site which has a variety of fun http://www.fun-with-words.com/.

Here you can find oxymorons like military intelligence,  …..or cockney slang like having a butchers  (from butcher’s hook = look), or using your loaf ( loaf of bread = head).

Palindromes (words or phrases reading the same backwards) are great fun.

“You can cage a swallow can’t you, but you can’t swallow a cage , can you?”

Anagrams are best when the anagram relates to the original word.

Therefore to say that Eric Clapton was a narcoleptic is quite clever but unfortunately not true.  

What about Monica Lewinsky Nice Silky Woman ?

Or for Madonna Louise Ciccone, you have a choice - “One cool dance musician” or “Occasional nude income”, both very appropriate.  

Go to this site and waste hours making up your own anagrams : http://www.anagramgenius.com/server.html  

For a start you can type in “President Clinton of the USA” and see what you get.

Malapropisms –  Dan Quale, noted for his spelling of  “potatoe” made this unfortunate statement when extolling family values:

“Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.”

Similes can be fun, but this one makes me cringe:

I recall a teacher writing on the reports when I was a schoolboy “Works with the speed of a crippled snail.” 

I like this one: “Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.” 

Or this nonsense makes me chuckle “John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.”

Acronyms are words made up of initial letters like SCUBA diver (self-contained underwater breathing apparatus).

Online dating needs acronyms.

You might know what a YUPPIE is (Young Urban Professional), but a SINBAD is less obvious – “Single Income, No Boyfriend, Absolutely Desperate.” 

George Bush in his innocence used to refer to the War on terror as “The War Against Terror” but this was swiftly changed.

David Cameron should have brushed up on his acronyms when he texted “lol” (laugh out loud) to Rebekah Brooks, thinking it meant “lots of love” but  it was even more embarassing for the chap who wrote on a sympathy card –

“So sorry to hear your mum has passed away – lol”.

Witty quotations can bring a smile and Stephen Fry is rapidly became the modern Oscar Wilde for witticisms. 

“Education is the sum of what students teach each other between lectures and seminars.”

He is said to have attended just 2 lectures in his 3 years at Cambridge and you can find more of his quotes at  

http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/10917.Stephen_Fry

Also, a new series of Fry’s English Delight begins on Thursday morning at 9am & 9.30 pm on BBC Radio 4. 

So become a lexophile, have fun with words and bring a smile to your face after a hard day at work.